Mikveh Eve.

 
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Well in less than 12 hours I’ll be officially Jewish.  I am excited simply put and in  a weird, weird way I have that Christmas Eve feeling that I had as a kid. That something amazing is on the horizon. Bad simile I know…but I remember as a kid magic  thinking there was magic in air that night.
It has been a long process and rightfully so. A tremendous highlight of my day was that my mom gave me her blessing and that meant a lot perhaps more than I can ever express. Sadly my ex that I started the process with won’t be in attendance. I have mixed feelings about this honestly. Part of me knows this marks a new beginning and its only right I don’t celebrate with them but on the other hand  I am hurt they will not be attendance as a friend.  I invited two friends and my brother. All 3 of them will be there which I am exceedingly grateful for. They represent the Jewish community that I have built and my brother of course represents my family.  I did’t feel the need to invite a billion people.  This is intimate experience (plus I talk about it on Facebook aaaaaallll the time).
 
I bought a new dress from Ann Taylor Loft: blue and white (how appropriate).  My best friend in Canada sent me a gorgeous Star of David pearl necklace…I am already wearing it. Clothing and accessory wise I am prepped for tomorrow. Tonight I will take the nail polish off of my toes for the mikveh and I will set my alarm for 6am in order to be super early vs. late.  In these aspects I am ready. 
 
I don’t think there are ways that I am not ready.  I have put a considerable amount of pressure on myself to suddenly turn shomeret shabbat and to know every prayer etc….but I am only part of the way there…and that is ok.
 
On a humorous note I have already made a huge mistake.  I chose a non kosher restaurant to celebrate tomorrow evening at. I thought it was kosher…apparently it is not…just “Jewishly styled”.  Grrrr. I should have gone with the suggestions that my friends had given me via Facebook. #wrong. #failedJew. There will be other blunders I am sure. This is not the end of me making mistakes (unfortunately). I am already nervous about the prayer I will say when out of the mikveh not to mention meeting the Beit Din.. FFFFFFfffffffff I need to learn shechecheyanu right now. I have 11 hours to memorize it. Its a prayer said during new occasions…like conversions.  In my head I’ve called it the rhyming prayer…it doesn’t really rhyme but the words are fun to say in Hebrew. 

Goodnight:)

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